How to Cope When Something Isn’t as Good as Expected

^{Photo by Andrea Piacquadio}

You may have heard of the saying “Expectation is the root of heartache” too many times. Even so, this rings true when you lay out your expected outcomes, and they don’t come true; that’s when disappointment follows. How to deal with it is up to you.

It’s not like you want to feel disappointed when something goes wrong or what you anticipated doesn’t come along nicely. Everyone feels this way occasionally, and it always depends on what situation this feeling comes into play. Other times, the highest form of disappointment might alter the rest of our lives.

In life, no one is ever free from feeling disappointed. It is such a complex emotion that it often stands on a gray area because it can be considered valid or not. Disappointment is also a powerful driving force that can make a person do things they’ve never thought of before. There are also times when someone can still feel disappointed even after getting the things they want. These are the types of people who feel empty even if they have achieved success.

Factors That Influence Disappointment

If we want to handle disappointment, we must tackle it back to the root causes of our formative years. It can come from our family, friends, and personal yet impactful experiences.

Sometimes, to avoid disappointment, people stop striving for success and live a sedentary life where the only important thing is to do the bare minimum. It seems like a safe route to take, but that can also be a form of self-sabotage. Living that way prevents you from growing as a person and shelters you from other possibilities of becoming better than you were before. It might be scary to set the bar high for yourself, but it doesn’t always lead to disappointment, contrary to what anyone would typically think.

Consider yourself lucky if you grew up in a nurturing environment where it didn’t shove you with different kinds of expectations and the pressure to be unrealistically the best. But even if you were raised healthily or not, your past doesn’t always define your future. And even if your disappointment has taken hold of you, it can still teach you something about yourself and what makes you feel.

Coping With Disappointment

When a person feels disappointment, it can lead to a series of defining moments that will either shape a person temporarily or permanently. Uncontrollable events may lead to disgrace, and it is up to us to confront it. Dr. Julius Mosley II’s book teaches us how to live life as God intended, even while facing disappointment.

To deal with it positively, you must steer away from it for a moment and redirect your attention to something unrelated to the circumstances. That rest period helps you think clearly and doesn’t leave more room for unhealthy emotions that are potential consequences of that disappointment. Many people relate their unfortunate encounters with personal failures, which can lead to perpetual self-loathing if not dealt with directly.

As much as it hurts to feel this way, experiencing disappointment is also one of the best ways to learn. There are moments when you could have prevented such disappointment, but sometimes it spiraled out of control. Discerning which ones you feel will help you address the problem better since you already know how much time and energy you’re giving.

You can also trace it back to your level of expectations. If they were too high and unattainable, then disappointment was inevitable. Sometimes it happens because the actions taken do not match the goals set, resulting in a letdown. Try modifying your level of expectations towards essential things, so you can have a better grasp of the type of expectations you want to meet.

And most importantly, do not regress into apathy and depression if you don’t continually meet the expectations you have set upon yourself and others.