Loss – A sculpture by Jane Mortimer| Photo by K. Mitch Hodge from Unsplash
“Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.”
— Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor
This quote means that death is inevitable for everyone—it’s something that will eventually happen to all, an inescapable part of life. Death smiles to all like there’s no exception because it will come to everyone, eventually. Not now, but eventually. The thing is, you don’t know when. The unpredictable nature of death is something people are afraid of. But fear not. Finding comfort in death is challenging but possible.
But before finding comfort, acknowledge first the uncomfortable truth.
Finding Comfort in Death: The Uncomfortable Truth
Smiling back to death implies that you can face it positively, understanding that it’s part of the natural cycle of existence. It is the uncomfortable truth. What if you happen to experience the loss of someone? Would you still smile back at death? Would you still face it with a positive attitude? The universal answer is no, although it varies from one person to another.
But one thing is sure: after everything, death comes with grief. You have no choice but to feel it. You will walk into the stages of grief. However, would you experience all of the stages? Is finding comfort in death beyond reach because of this?
What Are the Stages of Grief?
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the model, often described as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Feeling grief is something you can’t escape, but experiencing each stage is not guaranteed.
Grief is a personal experience. Each stage reflects the emotional journey many go through when experiencing loss. Grief is not linear, so it does not necessarily happen in one particular order. People can experience these stages at different times. Someone might experience all the stages, skip some of them, or experience everything all at once.
Anyhow, finding comfort in death or loss can be attained with the help of the Holy Scriptures. The Holy Scriptures unfolds stories of God’s righteousness and God’s love that are beyond human understanding. Death might be the end here on Earth, but with God, it is the beginning of eternal existence.
Here’s an overview of each stage with a connected Bible verse that may offer comfort or guidance during each phase:
1. Denial
At this point, a person may struggle to absorb the truth of their loss, as they feel numb or shocked. Anticipated or abrupt, finding comfort in death is definitely hard, but denying slows down the pain. It is a coping mechanism that will help you process the overwhelming emotion gradually.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18
This verse reminds you that even in forlorn moments, when a part of your world has disappeared, God is near. He is not just close, but he saves those who are spiritually suffering and offers comfort to those who feel heartbroken.
2. Anger
Anger often follows denial. If denial is more like a coping mechanism, anger is like a mask. All the feelings of frustration and helplessness come to the surface as anger. This is when people may feel angry at themselves, others, or even God. People ask questions like, “Why is this happening to me?” or “God, why are you letting this happen?”.
“In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
— Ephesians 4:26
This verse recognizes that anger is a natural feeling, but it urges you to deal with it in a way that does not harm yourself or others, knowing that God can help you process it.
3. Bargaining
Like the first two, bargaining is a natural reaction to grief. People often try to make deals, like they’re willing to give anything to regain what’s lost. They usually ask either themselves or God to reverse or lessen the pain of their loss. This could include pleading, making promises, or thinking about “what if” scenarios.
“And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
— Romans 8:28
This verse encourages trust in God’s plan, even when this is beyond human understanding, and reminds you that God can bring good out of the hopeless moments.
4. Depression
Depression sets in when the reality of the loss fully sinks in. In this stage, people feel like they’ve hit rock bottom, like they’re in a deep abyss and there’s no way out. When someone is mourning, they may experience signs of depression such as trouble functioning, feeling despair, excessive sleeping, frequent sobbing, and distancing from loved ones.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
— Psalm 23:4
The above passage reassures everyone, giving hope in seemingly insurmountable situations. Even in the darkest situations, God stands alongside his people, offering comfort, consolation, and support.
5. Acceptance
Finding comfort in death in this stage must be the most challenging part. Acceptance is the stage at which one begins to cope with the reality of the loss. According to Sarah Gundle, PsyD, “Acceptance doesn’t mean that you feel happy about the loss. Rather, in this stage, there is finally an acceptance of the pain and loss you experienced, and you start to look forward to and plan for the future.”
It emphasizes that it does not mean forgetting or “getting over” it but rather learning to live with the change and build a new path forward. Oftentimes, the questions in this phase are, “What’s next?” and “How do I move forward from here?”.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
This verse indicates that God has a purpose and future for you. You may walk under a dark tunnel, which may seem endless. But at the end of it, there is light— where hope resides. You need to trust God’s plans and seek comfort in them.
Onto the Next
Is there a next life? Do we move on to another realm, or is death simply the end? Julius Mosley II can answer it through his book Living Life With Blinders On: Living Life as God Intended. Click here to grab a copy now! You may also visit his blogs and immerse yourself in God’s wonders and compassion.
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